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Mess of me

by EarthWyrmm

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1.
Home alone again, on the corner of me bed, there's a pain in my body, and a buzzing in my head. She asked me for the truth, and I said "there's nothing new." And I meant it when I said , "I don't know why you want me to." In my dreams I see faces, but they are nameless, and I can't pin the places where I am. I see trees, and rivers. Somber voices give me shivers, but I wake up not giving a damn. Home alone again on the corner of my bed writing words or watching movies, drowning voices in my head. And I'm watering my cactus, like it needs something from me. It reminds me of myself, when my thoughts are prickly. And I tripped over the floor for the hundredth time this year. Chasing visions, writing songs that no-one will ever hear.
2.
Mess of me 02:26
I just saw a sign it was buried in your eye and it said I'm not the sun and I can't warm everyone I dream that I'm a ghost that I'm invisible to most So that nobody can see the mess I've made of me And maybe I'm not ready or I'll never be I've always been buried below my empathy Hey mom I think I've lost my way So I think of what your say and I stare in the rear view at the memory of you.
3.
One day 02:45
You don't care who you hurt It took me three years to see the truth Your eyes hide lies I can't see But I thought one day you'd stop hurting me I guess I was too blind to see I remember when you had faith in me And I thought I saw good in you and maybe you'd see good in me too I was so young and I didn't know when I should just let someone go
4.
Chasing these patterns The rings of Saturn sparkle like ice like diamonds Memories they haunt me I miss you mommy I wish I had a home to go to be alone Existential dream world The sky was all purple Do you still like me as I am now? My eye lids keep closing I can't keep from dozing when dreams are much better than real life Anything is better than real life I keep having visions of my bad decisions Would I go back if I could? If you had the chance I know you would I feel so degraded All my friendships faded Did I even mean a thing to them? Wish I could start over again
5.
I am the grass on the shady side of the road where you go to smoke your life away I can feel the air brushing me towards the sun so I run but I just can't reach the light I am the rain on a summer day I'm the pain people feel when they've got nothing else to blame Paper thin when my body gives in is it sick Is it sad With the good always comes the bad I am the father who tells you that you are absolved forgives all and forgets myself What's my fault Was it all I am drowning in hate for myself just myself and nobody else I am the flower that grows through the cracks in the concrete that no-one thought could grow but there I go and I thought you should know that it hurts but it could always be worse Yeah it hurts but it could always be worse I am the grass on the shady side of the road where you go to smoke your life away
6.
I don't like this empty feeling, crawling all across the ceiling. Chaos brings the heat in rapture, I think I just heard your laughter. I did what you asked now you owe me, bloodied but breathing still, you know me. I am finished here, I'm leaving. Leave it here, hanging from the ceiling.

about

Welcome to my lair, bring headphones.

A few songs from the back of my mind.
Might change through time
Thanks 4 listenin




Ps. Ignore the face that Spider Splicer is so long there's nothing after, I just messed up. =]

credits

released April 20, 2017

Sarahgrace Abbott, The Birds, The wind, White noise

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EarthWyrmm Fairfield, Connecticut

Just a sad small person mak'n makeshift song things

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